If you were followers on my blog, I’d call you “loves,” but you’re not my followers. You belong to Lan. It’s very True Blood. She’s Bill, you’re Sookie, and I’m Eric. Although, who’s been watching this season? Looks like Lan might have some competition, but this is only a metaphor and alas I have not lost my memory to witchery thus you’ll probably stay Lan’s followers. Then again, this isn’t True Blood, so you could become my followers too. Oh, I don’t know if any of that made sense and nor do I care.
Here’s the point about the above: True Blood is a paranormal television show. I love it. I do not love paranormal literature, but I hear you do. I thought a good way to get more followers would be to savage their most prized reads. No?
Here’s why I don’t like Paranormal lit: they’re normal to nausea, especially YA paranormal. Put down your spell books and silver bullets. I have reasoning. It seems every paranormal paperback I pick up is more of the same. The cover features some pale female with glitter smacked lips or batted eyelashes or maybe she’s turned away, because her life is just so stuffed full of phantom turmoil/erotica. The story usually consists of someone coming to a new town and in said new town there are hidden supernatural beings or a supernatural being is the one coming to town. The supernatural one has an air of danger, but is irresistible (on a side note, that last sentence would accurately describe my affair with Lifetime’s Dance Moms). A romance ensues. I can’t love you. But you must! Yak.
You’re playing to stereotypes! Okay, maybe I am, but this is the impression I received from Twilight and Shiver and Blood & Chocolate and Paranormalcy and Hush Hush and Beautiful Creatures and Nightshade and Wicked Lovely and The Vampire Diaries and Wake and House of Night and Vampire Academy and blah blah blah.
I’m not pegging every paranormal book as following this formula, because I do love some paranormal lit. Breathers, a zombie love story, is one of my favorites. The difference between Breathers and the other titles listed above is that Breathers is smart. It doesn’t use the paranormal to dazzle, but to reveal truths about society. This includes the undead anonymous meetings, a rotting corpse obsessed with cosmetics, and the big question: do humans find success and progress in eating each other alive? Other favorites include Let the Right One In, Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children, and The Southern Vampire Series.
So what do you think? Am I an idiot? Am I judging the listed books unfairly OR do you simply enjoy what I find redundant? Got any other titles to help persuade me… to the dark side? Yeah, I said it. Sorry! Let me know all this and more in the comments! Follow @ .For Starved Novelists and Book Bingers
Thanks for reading,