Sunday, 23 December 2012

Musings on Disappearing into the Aether

Hey all,

Hope everybody is well. This is probably going to be my last post for 2012. I'm gearing up for a bit of heavy reading and a lot of writing over the Christmas and New Year holidays so I won't be spending time on posting. I'll still be lurking and reading your blogs though.
       Given that it's the holidays and a time to be with friends and family, I'm not surprised that I've been hit with a small case of melancholy. At least that's what I think it is. Maybe it's really just me being overly sentimental. Whatever it is, it has got me thinking about internet friendships and how truly amazing but also fraught with potential heartache they can be.
       I will see my physical friends this holiday season. I call them physical friends instead of real life friends because the more I think about it, the less I can find a distinction between those friends I can meet up with in a physical location and those friends who are the click of a button away. My physical friends are those people I went to school/university with. Some are people I work with and others I can't even remember where I collected them from. Even if I don't see them for a while, I'll get updates about them from other friends and if worse comes to worse, they're a short drive away. What I'm getting as it that they are accessible.
       What's been on my mind lately, is the ease at which my blogger/email friends can disappear never to be heard of again. I've been a blogger/book reviewer for less than two years but I've luckily managed to make some wonderful friends. I've also lost some in that time. I'm not begrudging these lost friends their busy lives or their choices not to blog anymore. I guess this post is more an ode to the lasting affect they've had and continue to have in my life. Sometimes I think it's my obsessive compulsive disorder causing me to be unable to release those ties even after a year of not hearing from a person.
       It's really hard to put what I'm trying to convey into words. That doesn't bode well for a would be writer does it? All jokes aside, and to put it very plainly, my biggest fear is that someone will drop dead and the only way I will know about it is when the blogging/emailing stops. Morbid I know. But it's also the crux of my problem. I don't know any of my blogging/emailing friends through any other medium. No one will know to notify me should something unexpected happen. Lord knows no one I know would think of writing one last post should anything terrible happen to me. It all makes me very sad.
       This is becoming a thoroughly depressing post and that's not how I intended it at all! I guess what I really want to say is a big thank you to all the friend I've made through this blog. You may not realise it but you've made a lasting impression on me and if you leave for whatever reason, I will miss you.

I wish you all a safe and happy holiday season.Looking forward to another year spent in your company.

xoxo Lan


  1. Well, I live in Melbourne and I'm on holiday. Let me know if you want to catch up. :-) Have a great break!

  2. I understand. After three years of blogging, I've had several friends vanish. (And yes, two of them did indeed die, which was very sad.) It comes down to the fact we are scared of the unknown - what happened to that person?
    Hope you can surround yourself with joy the next few days.

  3. I have that thought all the time! Worrying about someone I chat with regularly just being gone and not knowing if it's just life getting in the way or if something terrible happened. I think it's sweet of you to write this post and let everyone know you care! *hugs* Have a wonderful time off from blogging and I hope you can get everything done! <3

  4. Hi Lan, I confess it's been a while since I checked in to The Write Obsession, but I've been negligent on the blogging front right across the board while getting my latest book out. It's a question of prioritizing and budgeting time, and I think most people will agree that time seems to vanish with amazing rapidity these days!

    Hopefully your friends will have a chance to catch their virtual breath over the holidays and come back blogging with a vengeance in the new year.

    All the best to you and yours, keep that smile on your face, and we'll all play catch-up in 2013!

  5. Some of the big-name bloggers have talked about this in recent months. It happened to come up at a time when we were working on our financial estate plan so it rang true for me that I probably need a social media estate plan, too--someone with the power and passwords to make that last post should it be necessary.

    Even more than on the blogging front, I fret over people who go missing at my on-line weight loss support group. And I know people get really upset when they are using on-line support for depression -- the possibilities of what happened to the missing are dire there.

    Anyway, I was thinking about doing a post for Bloggiesta about creating a social media estate plan. Do you think that's a good idea? Or too morbid to consider? It's obvious a lot of us think about it now and then, so maybe it would be healthier to just get it out in the open.

    Wishing you safe, happy holidays, too! Looking forward to more in 2013!

  6. Good luck with your reading and writing over the holidays! I really need to buckle down and catch up on my reading as well.

    It's always sad when blogging friends drop out of the blogosphere with no notice, so we're left wondering if they just burned out or if something bad happened. I've lost touch with several of the bloggers who started at the same time I did, as they no longer blog. I hope that it was just a matter of life got too busy to blog, but will always wonder. I keep them in my reader just in case...

    I really like Joy's idea of a social media estate plan, so a simple notice can be posted should anything happen. I've already got a funeral CD mix (want to make sure there's good music!), so it shouldn't be too hard to write a little post to go on my blog.

    Have a happy and safe New Year!

  7. Some people disappear from blogging, but I seem to know what happens to them all. I've yet to see someone completely disappear to the point where I have no clue what happened to them and neither does anyone else. That's lucky, I suppose.

    I hope that never happens to you and I hope you also never just up and die on me without warning! I'd have to message your friends on FB if something were to happen to you.

  8. Ah, Lan, that was such a sweet post :) A little morbid, yes, but ultimately so sweet and thoughtful. I'm glad to have found your blog and be one of your blogger friends! I truly hope you have a great holiday season and get lots of writing and other fun things done!!
    Merry Christmas!
    Ninja Girl

  9. Online buddies are interesting that way. I've certainly had more than one disappear into the ether. It used to bum me out, but I guess I've gotten more jaded over time. Not that it doesn't still make me sad, but I've come to accept that most relationships just won't last forever, online and offline. Okay, maybe I am not the best person to be commenting . . . anyway, have a great holiday, good luck with your reading and writing!

  10. Hey Lan. Interesting post, but I'm starting to feel the same way about physical friends and friends with just a click away. So much has happened in the blogging world that it makes us reviewers a bit discouraged. I've only been blogging for a couple years also and there are times where I struggle with keeping it or deleting it because of all the drama that's happened. But whatever it may be, hopefully we'll all find ways to keep in touch. :) Hope you have a very Merry Christmas, and a great up coming New Year :)

  11. Awwww. I completely agree. I feel the same way. It's strange. I feel like I'm closer to friends online than the ones I have in real life. You all know me in a way others dont. To others I hide how I am, cover it up. Online I can be whoever and it doesn't matter how anyone feels about me so you all really know the real me. Anywho. I'm glad you feel the same and would like to let you know that I count you in the list of the online friends I'm very happy to have met and would miss if you stopped posting.

  12. I did a post like this too. I felt horribly morbid at the end of writing it but that wasn't my intention. I miss all those blogging buddies when they stop blogging. :( I hope you never stop. I'd miss your posts so bad!

  13. I've actually thought about that too! I started thinking so when I was introduced to fanfiction because there were some pieces that would just stop. At first, I treated it like a joke like "They're probably dead because they won't upload a new chapter". But then it dawned on me that they could be and I wouldn't even know about it! But then I'm kind of ashamed to admit that came from my selfish wish of what happens next to a story. Ha.

    Well, let's just all hope we don't die soon.


    Ironically, that sounded more morbid to me.

    Oh well.

    Stay safe, Lan. And a Happy New Year to you!

    @ A Discombobulated Balladry

  14. I'm really late posting a comment on this (I'm going to try to be more consistent in the New Year). I admit that I've definitely thought about this too, especially since I don't really keep in touch with my "real life" friends in person much anymore. Most of my in person time is spent with my husband, my family, and one or two close friends, but that's about it. I think a social media estate plan is a great idea, as another commenter said.

    I'm not planning on leaving the blogophere anytime soon, and if I did I would let everyone know ahead of time. If that helps... ;) I'm glad I've gotten to know you a bit and I'm looking forward to the next year!


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