Monday 1 August 2011

Miscellaneous Monday: Blogger Etiquette....Follow Friday Aftermath

Pic courtesy of Love That Etiquette

For over a month now, every Friday I've participated in the Follow Friday meme hosted by Parajunkie and now Alison Can Read. It's the most awesome meme and has put me in touch with so many amazing bloggers. My TBR pile has grown exponentially and I now have too many books to read as opposed to thinking no cool books had been published in years! Through FF, I met Lani at Sleepless in Samoa who is just the best blogger in the world. Seriously, check her out!
        But I digress, this post is meant to be about what the etiquette is for those people you've followed that don't follow you back. You know the ones. You've hopped onto their blog. Made the effort of following and leaving a comment and....nothing. Zip. Zilch. The first couple of weeks, I was pretty new to blogging and sort of let it go, thinking they must have forgotten or not checked their updates. But then I'd see their new posts and feel a bit bewildered. Then there are the ones who check out my blog and still don't follow. I used to let these go too, thinking that they'd come back later.
         Not anymore my friends. I'm a month older and wiser now and I have a lot less time to spend sorting through updates for people who have no intention of playing fair. If blogging were football I would be the quarterback. I spend a lot of time on blogs reading and commenting and I don't want to waste the effort and anguish anymore. Now I give people a 3 day grace period, and unless they haven't been online,  they get the cut. Brutal but necessary.
         I tend to be a bit Libran about it. A friend once said that I look at life on a scale of justice and indecisiveness. As a Libran, this kind of rudeness just doesn't sit well with me. I'm really interested in what others do in these circumstances. Let it go or give it the heave ho?


  1. I have been letting it go but I agree with you completely. I always follow back but I understand that some blogs don't and maybe they just didn't like my blog, that's fine. But you cant participate in a meme called Follow Friday if you have no intention of following back. The rules of the meme are very clear on this. I think you're on the right track here, i'm going to toughen up too.

  2. Thanks for the feedback Che. I was worried that I was being too harsh for a while but all this blogging takes up time and I have very little of it to spend on non interactive blogs. Makes me feel better that I'm not crazy!

  3. *Hits the like button* Oh wait! That's not a like button... What is that?... Oh no! j/k

    I am pretty new as well, and have to agree. I have gained followers, but not many come back. I try to check updates and comment on what I can on an average basis.

  4. I follow a lot of blogs, and always follow back. You never know who'll you meet. :)But my goal has never been to have the most followers. I'm much more interested in, cheesy as it sounds, forming a community of sorts - so I'd rather have fewer, more participatory followers than huge amounts of them who only show up for the giveaways, you know?

    There's a couple blogs where I've been commenting, and getting no response. I haven't decided yet whether to cut them or not, but I'm definitely considering it. Thanks for the's good to know I'm not the only one. :)

  5. I think some just don't know that following back is sort of an unspoken rule. And some would have a dashboard clogged with people's posts too, so I get the not following back. On the other hand, as a new blogger here, it's so hard to get followers and you just want people to appreciate the effort.

  6. I totally understand what how you're feeling. To be honest, I don't follow back unless people specifically tell me in a post that they are following me. It's just too hard for me to keep up with who is and who isn't. But I do try to always follow back. And I always try to visit and post on someone's blog when they have taken the time to visit mine. :) Not everyone is that way though, unfortunately.

  7. Thanks so much for the shout out Lan - (Im feeling a little panicked now wondering if my latest posts are any good and ohmigosh what if someone actually pays attention to your recommendation and they go over there to Sleepless and they think, 'well this is just crap...' aaaargh!) Get a grip Lani.
    Okay, my thoughts on this following thing. Im in total agreement. I see it like making friends in real life. Or talking to them on the phone. IF i keep calling someone and leaving a message and they never ever get back to me? well, Im going to stop calling. And eventually delete them from my phone. There are a few blogs I have found that i really enjoy reading. I've followed, and left comments lots of times and theres been no 'answer' or feedback at all. I appreciate that bloggers are busy and cant possibly keep up with a thousand readers, so I may keep visitng and reading a blog if the writing is super awesome, but i wouldnt try to 'talk ' to them anymore. Nah, i dont think you're being mean. U may hav just inspire me to go and do a ruthless clean up of my blog roll too!

  8. I always follow those who follow me (well, if they've left me a link so I can find them, heh). I totally understand how you feel -- when people don't follow back, it completely ruins the spirit of the meme! I've had someone follow me back ... only to remove me a day later :( Kind of random. But I've learned just to let it go, can't let little things like this get you down.

    (As a side note, I've found that people with a small amount of followers are more likely to follow you back (perhaps because they are more appreciative of you following than, say, someone who already has 1000 followers)).

  9. I do what a couple of others do if they tell me they're following I usually do return the favor. Also, if someone makes an effort to comment on something on my blog I usually try and find a way to comment on theirs or I comment back to them on mine. (I'm sure if the last part is nice or not) I've noticed when I go through that some blogs I followed when I started haven't updated in a long time so I'm going back now and deleting those. If it's been a few months it's gone. Also for the longest time i couldn't get my stupid follow thing to work and I then I realized 9because someone else said it) that it works in firefox but not in some of the IE. Anyways, sorry bout the long comment. :) Oh btw I agree with what you said on my blog about Through her eyes. The green eyes are kinda creepy. :)

  10. Beth: Sometimes I wish blogger had a ‘like’ button too because some of the comments or posts I see on other blogs really crack me up.

    BJ: I feel the exact same way. Quality over quantity any time. I follow and comment on heaps of blogs because I love being interactive but after a few tries with no response, it’s a little hard to keep going without looking a little…strange. I’ll join your blog community any day!

    Bibliophile: Your comment is so true. I totally understand if people have heaps of followers and it’s difficult to separate one from the other on their dashboards, but if we can make the effort why can’t they? You’re also right about wanting people to appreciate the effort you’ve gone through. I personally make an effort to follow everyone who follows me, no matter how hard it is to find their blogs sometimes. Maybe I am too obsessive…hence the blog name :)

    Christy: I make the effort to visit and comment on the blogs of everyone who visits me too, but you’re right, unfortunately not everything thinks the way we do.

    Lani: You have nothing to fear lady. Your blog is priceless. I’ve left hundreds of comments in the blog ether that are destined never to be returned but I’ve made my peace with them I think. Now I just try and interact with the bloggers who talk back. Less heartache that way. Like you, there are a few blogs that I like to read and am happy to keep it that way, comment or not, but the whole point of blogging is to share and no sharing equals a cut!

    Jinny: I’ve had a mixed bag of results from smaller blogs. I think it all depends on the blogger. Some of the people with bigger blogs are incredible and it’s not hard to see why they have so many followers, others not so much. Last FF it was the smaller (less than 20 followers) bloggers that made me :( Like you, I’m learning to let it go.

    Ashley: Thanks for the follow :) I’ve done the same for you. Commenting on comments people have written on your blog is definitely nice.

    Thank you all for taking the time to comment. You’ve restored my faith. I’ve added you all to my blog roll and will be around to check out your blogs. Now I’d better go and work on my neglected novel…adios.

  11. Hi Lan,

    I agree with your post, that's why I don't really participate in the meme anymore. I usually try to comment back and follow blogs that are following me but the scenario is not always returned.

    Like someone else said, I've noticed that smaller blogs tend to reciprocate with a comment or a follow which is awesome. I've been blogging for almost 6 months and I still don't know what works or doesn't.

  12. I agree that it's strange to participate in the Follow Friday meme, then not follow any blogs. I mean, c'mon that's the whole point of the meme!

    Everyone has to find something that works for them and, to tell the truth, I'm still searching. I used to follow every blog that followed me, then my reader got out of control and I had to pare back.

    One of the great things about the blogosphere is that there are no hard and fast rules, but there is common courtesy.

    I try to visit every blogger who leaves me a comment and return the favor, and am currently playing catch-up after two weeks out of town with spotty internet. I appreciate follows and comments, and am still searching for a happy medium.


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